The Corner Office

I got a new office, and it sucks. I like to refer to it as the “corner office”, since that term is generally accepted to mean “lots of windows”, but in my case means “one dingy window looking out into an air shaft abyss. But I’m trying to stay positive about it, I guess. There are good points and bad points.

Point: No longer have to share an office. This office is all mine.
Counterpoint: A shitty 1979 Pontiac Grand Prix also used to be all mine.

Point: My old office mate used to hum the same gibberish incessantly. If it could be put into text form it would be “HMM HMM HMMMMMMMMM”
Counterpoint: None needed, that was fucking annoying and I’m glad it’s over.

Point: I can have private conversations now, without someone listening in, and I also don’t have to listen in to someone’s private conversations! Brilliant!

Point: I don’t have to listen to by the minute updates of the current weather conditions by the previously mentioned office mate.
Counterpoint: How will I survive without knowing that by noon the temperature will be 5 degrees warmer than it was at 9!?

Point: The lighting in here sucks. There are nasty yellowish fluorescent overhead lights, and then under cabinet bright white fluorescent lights. The old office lighting was much cheerier.
Counterpoint: I just got a lamp, though. One of those stand up ones that shoots light out its top. Not my #1 choice, but it was free, and I got it immediately. No light bulbs, though. Bulbs should come in 4-6 weeks, if I’m lucky. This is Columbia, after all.

Point: This new office has no carpeting, and on a certain level feels like I’m working in a bathroom. I might as well be, since the bathroom for our floor is 10 feet away from my door, within eyesight. Carpeting is being “looked in to”, which probably means it will “never happen”, which leaves me to consider my rug options. But honestly, who has an office without carpeting? Who has an office with tiled floor and a rug? Oh right. Me.
Counterpoint: The mystery of why people from other floors come down the stairs (the stairs are 5 feet away from my door) with books, and spend an eternity in the bathroom might be enough to entertain me annoy me for the next year. Of course, we all know what they’re doing in there, but why on my floor!? Why right next to my office? I am in a position where when they walk out of the bathroom and back up to their floor, they’ll have to look right at me. Maybe I’ll give them a dirty look and do the ol‘ head shake if it happens again.

Here’s a map, brought to you by MS Paint.

Note the lack of arrangements possible for this room. People can see what’s on my screen when they’re standing at the door. Not only is this really annoying, it presents a problem since I rarely have actual work on my screen. I thought I had this problem licked when I ordered myself one of those fancy privacy screens so you can only see things if you’re directly in front of the monitor, but that sucked. It made everything really dim, so I could barely see things at all. Yesterday, though, I acquired another monitor (dualies, bitch!), but don’t have a graphics card that supports two. Basically, I got served. Getting a new card should be an ordeal, but when it’s over I shouldn’t have a “privacy” problem anymore since the second monitor will be at an angle and not directly visible from the door. First monitor = work. Second monitor = play. Perfect.

But seriously, I shouldn’t complain too much since this is my first office. I’ve had cubes, and I’ve shared offices, but now I’ve got my own door. Who knew it could be this sweet?

Ok, that was sarcastic.